Weight and Me
I have been battling weight since I was 4 years old. The doctors always
told my mother that I should be on a diet, but it was hard for her to
put me on a diet without the proper information herself. The whole house
had horrible eating habits; I didn't realize how horrible until I became
an overweight adult. There were so many things that made me overeat. I
came from a very abusive home physically and mentally. Food was my comfort;
I could escape in the thoughts of my food. Then came the outside world:
Going to school was a nightmare the kids would call me Fat Pig, Hamburger,
Elephant, you name it. I would go home and cry and there was no one there
to talk to. My concern was dodging an undeserved beating for the day.
So I would sneak off to my comfort food. Another method my mother used
against me she would make me eat until I was sick at dinner, and then
the next tell me how fat I was getting.
The Last Straw
For years I tried all type of diets from Atkins, to liquids and no meats.
I would try to exercise but it would just leave me in pain. Everyday I
walked outside people were just so cruel. Obesity is the only handicap
that people have no mercy on. You are discriminated against publicly everyday
and everyone just laugh. I grew tried of not being able to breath &
sleep. Scared of dying before I was 30, tried of being treated as though
I wasn't human. So I made a drastic choice.
How I Did It
I choose to have gastric bypass surgery, which a lot of people view as
the easy way out. But it was far from easy: Many days after my surgery
I cried and said I should have just tried harder. But time has taught
me that it was the best decision I have ever made in my life because I
choose to live. If I didn't have the surgery I wouldn't have lived to
see my 30th birthday the way things were going, but now I make plans about
my 70s and 80s. Before I was able to undergo surgery my doctor set a goal
of 40 pounds to lose. I went to the nutritionist and she provided me with
healthy tips of what I should eat before and after surgery. I would exercise
at least three times a week and stop eating sugar and fried foods, which
was extremely hard because these are the things I grew up eating. But
I followed the nutritionist orders and lost the 40 pounds. Now it was
time to go in for surgery. The first five months were the hardest days
of my life, not only are you physically sick you go through a depression
you hate your self for letting your weight problem get so out of hand.
The weight quickly began to fall off and I started feeling better. The
crazy part is that you have to learn how to eat again. I kept my nutritionist
on speed dial because I didn't know what to eat. So she gave me meal plans.
I would eat grilled fish, brown rice and steamed veggies for dinner, and
egg whites and a slice of whole wheat toast for breakfast. Also I had
to build up my protein: Grilled and baked salmon became my best friend,
along with chicken. I started to buy and eat vegetables, which is something
I never did, I never had vegetables in my house. With gastric bypass surgery
you only lose weight for 18 months, and after that you can start back
gaining weight. I started working out five days a week, walking places
instead of taking the bus or a train. I stop eating fast food and starting
cooking and carrying healthy snack with me. Also I drink at least a gallon
of water a day and never drink soda.
The Key To Success
The clinic where my surgery was done was very supportive afterwards unlike
some clinics that just want to make money. At anytime when feel I need
to ask questions they always tell me to come and take out the time to
speak with me. I also walked in the walk for obesity in New York to raise
money for the awareness of obesity and to help fight the disease. I also
try to encourage others to consider weight loss surgery. By staying active
with the cause it keeps me focused.
Derailers and Strategies
Sometimes I want to eat the things that I know that are not good for me
like candy, cakes, ice cream, fried foods and white bread. It tastes so
good, but it's so bad. What keeps me motivated is looking at the progress
I have made and knowing how happy and free I am now, and remembering how
unhappy I was before. I realized that I had to distance myself from my
friends with bad eating habits because it is hard to be around people
that eat whatever they want when your diet has so many restrictions.
When I Slip ...
I realize that food was my addiction and at any giving moment if I ate
the wrong things I may not be able to recover. I will be honest: I had
moments when I ate fried food like French fries, chicken, shrimp and also
candy. I would feel horrible afterward, because I would say to myself,
"What are you doing? You know how unhappy this food made your life."
I would say to myself, "You risked your life having surgery: Why
would you let some ice cream take that all away?" And then I move
on.
When I Soar ...
My favorite "New Me" moment is getting up in the morning ready
for the new day. Happy to see the sunrise—I know it sounds like
a fairy tale. but I truly have learned to love life. I want to live not
just be alive. I have energy to run and walk and not be tired. I can look
myself in the mirror and not hate what I see I love me. My next mission
is to go to an amusement park and be able to fit on the ride, which was
something I missed out on for years. It is simple to most, but it means
the world to me.